Mommy and her bright ideas. I tell you! I know now that when I see peanut butter, I need to run like the wind. Sad thing is, I really love peanut butter not bleeding to death. Mommy thought that since we're going to the country in a few days and since my nails are long past trim time, that it seemed like a good time to get the peanut butter and nail clippers out. I saw the peanut butter and knew what was going to happen.
I attacked the peanut butter spoon, hoping to finish it all before Mommy started the clipping. It didn't really work. I resorted to squirming and whining. That didn't work. I tried screaming and squeeling like I was dying but, that didn't work. I even sneezed peanut butter into Mommy's face. I aimed straight for the eyes!
Mommy and Daddy laughed, so i thought I was free. Then they tightened their grip on me. So, I wiggled some more. That deffinitely did NOT work. In fact, that's why I'm practically missing a toe nail. I SCREAMED. It really scared Mommy, but I seemed OK. It really hurt just for a moment, but don't tell her that. Then, after a moment, the blood started squirting out of my paw. They didn't even notice at first.
So, I hopped around the house. Next thing I know, my Mommy is crying and I'm being swept away-still oozing. They stuck my paw in this grainy powdery stuff called styptic that's supposed to stop the bleeding. WRONG. They thought it was clotted but it wasn't. So, I got a bath. Fun. The whole time Mommy is profusely apologizing for this drama that unfolded at midnight. Geez, how many times can you be sorry?
Everything's OK now-was the thinking. So, they let me loose. Loose to bleed all over the carpet again. Then, I was wisked away again. This time, no more styptic powder. Flour. Anyone want to bake a cake with me?
After barracading me in the kitchen and dredging my paw in flour for a number of times, they finally decided enough was enough. There was nothing more that could be done. They dredged my paw one last time and put me in my crate and gave me three treats. Three treats!! I wasn't happy about not being able to sleep with my parents. Especially since I just needed a lot of love. But, they weren't sure I was done clotting. Plus, I got three treats!
Mommy feels badly. We won't tell her it only hurt for a second. She cried a lot, but she blames it on the fact that she was already emotionally distraught from watching the Cinderella Man. Who cries during a boxing movie? Sometimes, I really wonder who the real child is in my family. In fairness too, Mommy really wasn't sure how badly hurt I really was. She thought the styptic powder would clot my nail right away. In the end, it looked like a murder scene in our apartment. Actually, Daddy looked like the murder scene. He's the one who kept transporting me through the house. He could have passed for either suspect or victim.
This morning, I'm fine. Ready to start a new day and wait for my consolation gifts!!