Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Lazy Gross Weekends

Sigh. I don't know about you, but I'm beginning to not like winter. Here it is either rainy or snowy and all together frigid. Do you know what this means? It means, I'm not taking trips to the dog park or going on long walks through the neighborhood. It also means I'm making more frequent trips to go O-U-T because instead of taking care of all of my business I only take care of part of it forcing me to go out more often. So what? I don't like the freezing wet feel of snow on my velvety paw. It also means I look for ways to entertain myself.

But, I can't complain too much. I spent my weekend cuddled up in Mommy's amazingly soft blanket and watched a lot of movies, drank a lot of hot chocolate, ate a lot of cookies, and pondered why it's so great to be a dog. OK. Just kidding about hot chocolate and the cookies, I tried believe you me.

So here is why I think it's pretty good to be a god. I can be gross and totally get away with it.
I slept on two stacked pillows, which I always do. I leaked butt juice on a pillow and the couch, peed on the parent's bed, farted, burped a couple of times, blew snot in my parents faces, drooled water on the floor, regurgitated my food (that must be why my face stinks), ate my regurgitated food, sniffed my poop and pee, and farted again this time clearing the room. All this and no consequences. Well, other than peeing on my parents bed; I got in trouble for that one. But, it's not my fault. It was cold outside and raining and no one laid any blankets down for me to walk on nor did they hold an umbrella to protect me from the cold rain.

Apparently, if you're cute and can look like this:

you can be disgusting and the humans will be shocked and grossed out at first, but they'll always come back laughing for more. I think that says more about them than it does anything else. What do you say?

And yes...my editor saw the typo in the 3rd paragraph. She tried to change it, but the truth is, we pugs are doggy gods. Who else can get away with sleeping underneath a blanket on two stacked pillows?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Trip to the Bakery

On a gray chilly fall day, I donned my gray sweater and hopped in the car with my Mom and her cousin and took a trip downtown. We went to a bakery, but not just any bakery. We went to a bakery just for dogs. That's right, humans Not allowed. OK, they're allowed, but they can't buy anything for themselves no matter how good it looks. I know Mommy was so tempted. But, I digress.

We went to Three Dog Bakery and browsed around the store a bit. I was surprised to see they sold other items other than food, but I didn't really care. We found leashes and collars, sweaters and shirts, food bowls and beds for sale. You know what else they sold? Paintings. That's right. Paintings. But, the cool part is, it was painted by a dog. A DOG?! They put up pictures of the artist painting for proof. But, I remain skeptical.

We walked into the store and Mommy made me browse along with her. I didn't mind because I got some attention from other customers. Unfortunately, my sweater was a big hit! Don't they know they're only encouraging my parents to make me wear it? It seemed like an hour passed before we went to the counter to pick out my treats even though it was only 10 minutes.

As Mommy ordered my treats, I stuck my head under the swinging counter door to see giant dogs. So I growled and barked at them. Mommy didn't appreciate the fact that I was trying to pick a fight with the Great Danes. The guy behind the corner didn't mind. He liked me and would give me samples of their bakery items if I licked him and shook his hand.

So here's what we got: One carrot cake that truly smells like carrot cake and two different types of "pupcakes." I wanted to get an "itty bitty kitty" too, but for some reason I didn't.

I left the bakery fat and happy and excited to eat my treats at home. In my excitement I temporarily lost my mind. I pooped right in front of a restaurant door. Oops.

I got to enjoy my first "pupcake" the next day. It would have been more enjoyable if Mommy didn't take a zillion photos. But, she let me eat one of the pupcakes.

It was so yummy! I wish I could have eaten the others.

Apparently, I have to ration them out because they were rather expensive. Maybe I'll get to enjoy one this weekend.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

46 Days Till Christmas

This post is dedicated to my cousin Emily. I get to meet her for the very first time this year at Christmas! I'm excited because I heard she is smart, feisty, and super fun. Emily has already read this blog and has requested more updates. So today, I'd like to write a post for her. So Emi, this is for you!

Socks: They're small and easy to flip around and they are smelly. This is why I love them and why I like to steal them out of the dirty laundry. The best time to do this is when Mommy is cleaning the bedroom after sorting laundry.

So that is what I did and went like this:

Mmmm...I love this sock. It's smelly and so chewable.

I better keep an eye out for Mom, just in case...

I promise I was NOT chewing on this sock. You missed one and I was just picking it up for you.

In the end, I never got in trouble. Mom thought it was cute and she gave me one of her old socks to keep.