Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Lazy Gross Weekends

Sigh. I don't know about you, but I'm beginning to not like winter. Here it is either rainy or snowy and all together frigid. Do you know what this means? It means, I'm not taking trips to the dog park or going on long walks through the neighborhood. It also means I'm making more frequent trips to go O-U-T because instead of taking care of all of my business I only take care of part of it forcing me to go out more often. So what? I don't like the freezing wet feel of snow on my velvety paw. It also means I look for ways to entertain myself.

But, I can't complain too much. I spent my weekend cuddled up in Mommy's amazingly soft blanket and watched a lot of movies, drank a lot of hot chocolate, ate a lot of cookies, and pondered why it's so great to be a dog. OK. Just kidding about hot chocolate and the cookies, I tried believe you me.

So here is why I think it's pretty good to be a god. I can be gross and totally get away with it.
I slept on two stacked pillows, which I always do. I leaked butt juice on a pillow and the couch, peed on the parent's bed, farted, burped a couple of times, blew snot in my parents faces, drooled water on the floor, regurgitated my food (that must be why my face stinks), ate my regurgitated food, sniffed my poop and pee, and farted again this time clearing the room. All this and no consequences. Well, other than peeing on my parents bed; I got in trouble for that one. But, it's not my fault. It was cold outside and raining and no one laid any blankets down for me to walk on nor did they hold an umbrella to protect me from the cold rain.

Apparently, if you're cute and can look like this:

you can be disgusting and the humans will be shocked and grossed out at first, but they'll always come back laughing for more. I think that says more about them than it does anything else. What do you say?

And yes...my editor saw the typo in the 3rd paragraph. She tried to change it, but the truth is, we pugs are doggy gods. Who else can get away with sleeping underneath a blanket on two stacked pillows?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Trip to the Bakery

On a gray chilly fall day, I donned my gray sweater and hopped in the car with my Mom and her cousin and took a trip downtown. We went to a bakery, but not just any bakery. We went to a bakery just for dogs. That's right, humans Not allowed. OK, they're allowed, but they can't buy anything for themselves no matter how good it looks. I know Mommy was so tempted. But, I digress.

We went to Three Dog Bakery and browsed around the store a bit. I was surprised to see they sold other items other than food, but I didn't really care. We found leashes and collars, sweaters and shirts, food bowls and beds for sale. You know what else they sold? Paintings. That's right. Paintings. But, the cool part is, it was painted by a dog. A DOG?! They put up pictures of the artist painting for proof. But, I remain skeptical.

We walked into the store and Mommy made me browse along with her. I didn't mind because I got some attention from other customers. Unfortunately, my sweater was a big hit! Don't they know they're only encouraging my parents to make me wear it? It seemed like an hour passed before we went to the counter to pick out my treats even though it was only 10 minutes.

As Mommy ordered my treats, I stuck my head under the swinging counter door to see giant dogs. So I growled and barked at them. Mommy didn't appreciate the fact that I was trying to pick a fight with the Great Danes. The guy behind the corner didn't mind. He liked me and would give me samples of their bakery items if I licked him and shook his hand.

So here's what we got: One carrot cake that truly smells like carrot cake and two different types of "pupcakes." I wanted to get an "itty bitty kitty" too, but for some reason I didn't.

I left the bakery fat and happy and excited to eat my treats at home. In my excitement I temporarily lost my mind. I pooped right in front of a restaurant door. Oops.

I got to enjoy my first "pupcake" the next day. It would have been more enjoyable if Mommy didn't take a zillion photos. But, she let me eat one of the pupcakes.

It was so yummy! I wish I could have eaten the others.

Apparently, I have to ration them out because they were rather expensive. Maybe I'll get to enjoy one this weekend.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

46 Days Till Christmas

This post is dedicated to my cousin Emily. I get to meet her for the very first time this year at Christmas! I'm excited because I heard she is smart, feisty, and super fun. Emily has already read this blog and has requested more updates. So today, I'd like to write a post for her. So Emi, this is for you!

Socks: They're small and easy to flip around and they are smelly. This is why I love them and why I like to steal them out of the dirty laundry. The best time to do this is when Mommy is cleaning the bedroom after sorting laundry.

So that is what I did and went like this:

Mmmm...I love this sock. It's smelly and so chewable.

I better keep an eye out for Mom, just in case...

I promise I was NOT chewing on this sock. You missed one and I was just picking it up for you.

In the end, I never got in trouble. Mom thought it was cute and she gave me one of her old socks to keep.

Monday, October 20, 2008


This past weekend we traveled to the country to visit the family. I was so excited. It's been a long time since I've played tug for six hours a day or had an opportunity to just run and run and run through the grass. Plus, I missed my Uncles and was looking forward to all the attention and play they would give me.

But something changed. This time, I ran into the house and barked and yapped and whimpered and everyone greeted me. This is going to be great! Or so I thought.

Not even ten minutes later I hear this high pitched cry. It was a weird shaped little human called a "baby". I'm not sure I like babies. They cry and cry and they're face get's really red and then all the humans in the house are like: "Oh, what's wrong?" "Maybe it needs it's diaper changed!" "NO, he's just tired." "I think he's hungry, maybe he needs fed." On and on and on they go.

What about me? I'm barking and whining too but nobody is paying any attention to me.

One time Mommy was holding this baby and my Uncle got down on the floor and started crawling towards the baby to play. I thought he was playing with me but I just got shoved away.

I got shoved away quite a bit. I eventually had a chance to sniff out the baby to see what he was all about. He smells a little funny but he is cute and makes funny noises.

I suppose I'll get used to it. But, I would have appreciated it if someone asked me if it was OK with me to have a baby in the house.

I miss the attention and the quiet! At least there is no baby in my house!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Preferrably Naked!

This is a no shirt no shoes zone. Or at least that is how I'd prefer it. Now that the weather has cooled, the 'rents have rediscovered my clothing stash wherever it was hiding. It's been so long since I've worn a shirt that I now have to get used to it again. Apparently, we pugs are so fragile that we must be kept warm or else we'll die of hypothermia.


There is a reason we have fur and there is a reason why I prefer not to wear clothing. Why would anyone want to cover up my beautiful, soft brown fur? Forcing me to wear a sweater will only prevent the humans from petting me and making comments such as "Oh, he's so soft." It's a pugs crown of glory and I don't think it is right for humans to cover that up. I think they are jealous because they don't have much hair and skin is just ugly. They'd look super funny without clothes. So they need it. But, we don't. We're kept warm by our fur, it makes us beautiful and it's attractive to humans. Why else would they pet me all the time? You think they'd pet me all the time if I didn't have fur? That's what I thought.

Wearing clothing is not only stifling and method of control, but it's seriously dangerous! I had a great weekend with Mommy last weekend. We went to the dog park every day. I only got a bath once too. But, I digress. We came home one evening after visiting the dog park and after we got settled in for the evening, Mom decided that I should wear my Purdue tee-shirt. I was actually supposed to wear it to the dog park because that was the day of the big Purdue Vs. OSU game. How embarrassing! Does Mommy seriously think I want to wear a shirt in front of other dogs, much less Buckeye fans?! I don't think so!

Anyway, we started playing tug and chase and I ran through the bedroom chasing Mommy out of the room, when all of a sudden I was stuck. My legs were moving, but I wasn't. I ran too close to the dresser and one of the knobs caught on my shirt. It not only caught me and I was stuck, but it tore my shirt right down the middle. This could have been very dangerous. All I could do was just stand there till Mommy figured out what happened and loosen me from the evil grip of the dresser drawer. Luckily, it did not take her long. Although she was in the other room, she heard the rip. That's how loud it was.

So, I ask you: Should dogs be forced to wear clothing for the benefit of human's own pleasure and entertainment? We need to put a stop to this madness.

I urge you to write your congresspug and ask him to put a stop to this humiliating method of control!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Bath Time

I hate taking baths. I know I'm in trouble when I come home from the dog park and Mommy takes off my collar, walks into the bathroom and calls me over. That's when I usually jump on the back of the couch hoping Daddy will save me. But, he doesn't. He eventually says, "GO!" My next tactic is to walk to the far end of the couch and huddle with my tail down in the corner by the wall. This never goes over well. I just get picked up and put in the bathtub.

I'm not sure which is worse: the water or getting dried off. My comfort requires a certain level of warmth and that means the temperature of the water has to be just right. It's always warm, but the hotter the water, the more I relax. This confuses Mommy because she thinks it's too hot.

Being towel dried is pretty bad because at this point I just want OUT of the bathtub. Not to mention, being rubbed down with a towel over and over is not fun. It's like rubbing wood with sandpaper. OK, maybe it's not that harsh, but it's not enjoyable.

Then, the last thing I ever want is to play in the bathtub.

Or take pictures...

Okay, okay....maybe I do like to do a little modeling from time to time. But, preferably not with my collar off while I'm in the bathtub.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Meet Mr. Pug

This post is an extension of the post I wrote about my weekend adventure. We left off on Sunday.

To recap: Friday: I went to a dog festival. Saturday: I went to a new a dog park and swam in the lake and played on the dog beach. Hahaha and I tormented a fat basset hound.


I went to PetSmart. I thought I was going to the hotel to see my friends and play with the other doggies. I was so excited. But, instead, I got a new toy which was a lot of fun too.

Meet Mr. Pug. His real name is "Sebastian," but I much prefer to call him Mr. Pug.

So far he has provided many hours of fun. First, I'm working on chewing his ears off.

It is proving to be quite difficult so I have to concentrate very hard. No distractions, please!

Turns out it is more difficult than I thought so I changed my objective to tearing his head off.

To do this, I'd take Mr. Pug to Mommy and while I growl I shove him into her hand. When she takes hold of Mr. Pug, I pull back very hard and shake my head back and forth.

Mommy did not like being an accomplice in these efforts.

So I had to work alone.

Which was very exhausting and so I fell asleep....

After awhile, I did end up making progress towards dismembering his tail, but Mommy didn't like that either.

You know, I just realized....it's been a awhile since I've seen Mr. Pug. He must be in hiding. I must go hunt him down.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Sleepy and Spoiled

I know I am supposed to tell you about my Sunday adventure, but I haven't got photos right now and I know I need to update my blog. So, we're going to go out-of-order, but later in the week we should have photos posted. When we do, I'll introduce you to my new friend "Mr. Pug."

Sometimes, sleeping on the back of the couch just doesn't do it for me anymore.

We all know I am way too good to sleep on the floor. I mean, carpet isn't really all that soft and well, it's not very cushy. O.K forget the fact that I am asleep in the next photo.

When I am tired and want a good nap, I go to my bed. My parents claim it's their bed, but we all know better. I push and shove Mommy around just as much as she pushes and shoves me.

The bedroom is dark and cozy and the bed is fluffy and soft.

This is where I slept after my weekend adventure with Mommy. I was in desperate need of some "me" time. Normally I sleep on the back of the couch during the day.

Daddy, who realized the living room was quiet for a very long time came looking for me to find me curled up in my bed. I did not appreciate him disturbing me to take a photo.

After thoroughly enjoying my nap in the parents bedroom, I decided to go back again the next day.

I found a comfier spot.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Well, I am absolutely exhausted. Mommy wore me out this weekend. Not only did we stay up way past our bed time, but we did all sorts of exciting things.


On Friday night, Mommy took me to a nearby festival (or street fair) for dogs which was very exciting for me, but not so much for her. She entered me in a pet contest which required us to visit five different stations to get judged (from a scale of 1 to 7) on appearance, temperament and behavior. These stations were booths from area businesses promoting their products or services. Some were pet related, but most weren't.

Some lady gave me a six on appearance and temperament. Seriously, I'm cute. I think worth at least a ten and yes, I know I can be quite rambunctious, but I was trying to be charming. I worked it for the judges. I'd go to the judges (who were mostly women) and prop myself up on their legs and with my tongue hanging outside of my mouth I'd snort and breathe on them with my hot puggy breath as I gave them the "adoring and hopeful pug look."

Like this:
OR this:

Or this:

Apparently, it only worked on 3 of the judges. The other two just gave me a 6 out of seven for appearance. I ended up missing a perfect score by only three points. Nevertheless, despite the fact that we were both hot and tired and wanted to go home, we stuck around for awards, because we were, after all, missing only three points.

I lost. I lost to a Bernese Mountain Dog, a brown weimaraner and a yorki-poo that was being carted around in a toy baby-doll buggy. Yes, my sentiments exactly.

Mother thought the Bernese Mountain Dog and the yorki-poo was cute, but we're confused about the weimaraner.

Oh well, I still felt like celebrity dog because it seemed like everyone we walked buy would exclaim "Oh, look, a cute pug!" Or they would ask if they could pet me and give me treats.

This was the first time I've been out on city-streets like this and I enjoyed sniffing the streets, seeing the other dogs and trying to eat the broken dog treats on the ground-nevermind, the fact it was laying in a pile of other doggy vomit.


On Saturday, Mommy and I went for a drive and checked out a new dog park about half an hour from where we live. It was a very nice park situated right along a large lake. There was a separate section for large dogs and small dogs, but they also had a beach. It just so happens that this beach is one of the top ten dog beaches in America.

I wasn't very sure about going in the water. The boxer and basset hound seemed to really enjoy running in the water after each other. But, I don't even like to take baths. What makes Mommy think I'll go in the water?

So I walked up to the water's edge and watched the little waves come in. Geez, it really did look like fun....

So I tested the water and realized I would get wet and thought "no way."

As I watched the other dogs run in and out of the water I was envious. I wanted to have that much fun, but I admit I was scared. I looked up at Mommy and she knew what I was thinking. She took a few steps in the water and after seeking that she was OK, I joined her.

(Sorry the photo is rotated. It's not stored on the computer like this. I think it is something Blogger did, so I've put Mommy to task on fixing this...yeah, right.)

It actually wasn't too bad...well, that is until a little wave lapped up against me and startled me. The water felt cool and refreshing, but I don't understand how the other dogs were having so much fun in it. I might have had to venture out father into the water to really find out, but I was afraid and Mommy wouldn't walk into the water any further. I figured there was a legitimate reason why and I would just follow her lead. I also didn't know what I was supposed to do in the water so I started drinking it. That's when Mommy decided we'd go play on the beach.

We stayed and played at the beach for a little while. There was this basset hound that kept trying to chase me around on the beach. Hahah. Funniest thing ever. He was long, had a well-rounded tummy, and stubs for legs. Now, I can flip around and run really fast, but this dog...well, let's just say he made my Mom giggle a lot when he tried to run to chase me. As I ran, he waddled and hopped and howled at me.

We eventually went back to the small dog park (before we went to the beach we stopped by the small dog area. I wasn't being very social and I made Mommy chase me). This time, I actually socialized with the humans and played with the other dogs (including a very peculiar Italian Greyhound). There were two fawns that came up to the fence. I suppose they wanted to watch us play. I never noticed them, but the humans did. They eventually got chased off by some mutts.

Combined with the hour drive and playing at the park for nearly an hour and a half, I felt like I had a long day. I was glad to come home and I slept for the rest of the evening, well, and I started a new game with Mommy. I bark and whine at her then run over to my treat bowl to see how many treats she'll give me. Turns out she'll give me quite a few. It helps that I am quite irresistible and when I really want something I can sound quite demanding.

Since I need a nap right now, I'll tell you about Sunday later...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


We really dropped the ball on this one, haven't we?

We lied. Well, we didn't lie, we just jumped the gun. You see, there was a neat blog design we were going to use for my blog, but we had to create a dummy blog first to see how it would turn out.

It was not the easiest design to implement and I'm afraid that by implementing the new design we may lose a lot of the content in this blog already. Quite frankly, we don't want that to happen.

So, Mommy decided she'd look for a new blog design, but has yet to find one. So for now, changes aren't going to happen soon. We'd like to change the design, but we don't know when that will happen. Maybe one day you'll load the pages of my blog and there it will be.

In the meantime, we'll try to catch up on blogging, but we can't make any guarantees.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Changes are coming!

Alright fellow bloggers! I know I've slacked off the last couple months but that's gonna change. I have a lot to blog about and I'm a bit behind and I find that when I've got a lot to blog about, I tend to slack off. Mommy slacks off, blame her.

We are currently working on a few changes starting with the design. As a result, weird things may happen on this blog.

In the meantime, stay tuned as we try to catch up on blogging.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

There is something in my bed that smells yummy and I am going to find it.
It smells a bit like milkbone crumbs, but I hope it's even yummier.

My parents don't like me playing with my bed. In fact, my parents took my last bed away from me after I constantly mistook it as a plaything.

I just need to pull out the cushion and then I'll find the missing treats!

I know it's somewhere around here.

What if there aren't any treats? Well, something is in my bed that's for sure.

What are you looking at? I wasn't doing anything.