There is a reason why I fear laundry baskets, cardboard boxes, vacuum cleaners, ect. And no, it's not because I'm a pansy, or a wuss, or a chicken.
It's because I get chased with the vacuum cleaner, broom, cardboard box, and laundry baskets. And yes, one of these days I will get sucked up into the vacuum cleaner. Until then, I continue to run away and hide under the bed.
I really wonder what popped into my parents head the other night after they finished their laundry, that made them decide, "Hey, let's torture Oscar with the laundry basket."
Yes, they chased me with it. I ran and it was all fun and games until it ended up on top of me! Do I look like a vicious caged animal in the above picture? Now, I understand those poor caged creatures and why they turn evil.
I'll do anything for a treat.
Even if that means jumping into a laundry basket for a photo shoot. Look at my face! Don't I look thrilled? I promise you, revenge is on its way!
And, as if that wasn't enough fun enough for those people, they decided to put the treat inside the laundry basket and make me get it.
I am all for working for treats, but when I say working, I mean whining until they give me what I want or the occasional "sit-stay-lie down-sit-stay-wait 10 seconds-OK" routine.
Again, I'll do anything for a treat. Even if it means conquering my fear of laundry baskets. Unfortunately, every single time I touched the basket it would move!
I'm pretty sure it is alive and that it is working with the parents against me! I tried, and tried, and tried and tried to get the treat without going into the laundry basket. Finally, that man whom I used to call my Father, tipped the basket over so I could lean in and get the treat. But then the basket would roll!
In the end, I got my treat. My very very much deserved treat. Then I got another treat. And another. Then a fourth!
Somewhere along the way I lost track of how many treats I received. I was greatly rewarded for being subjected to my parents cruelty, for lowering myself to them, and for losing all honor to be humiliated for their entertainment.
I am a battered, broken soul.
And with whatever is left of me, I promise you-there will be revenge!