Monday, November 05, 2007

The Torture Continues

There is a reason why I fear laundry baskets, cardboard boxes, vacuum cleaners, ect. And no, it's not because I'm a pansy, or a wuss, or a chicken.

It's because I get chased with the vacuum cleaner, broom, cardboard box, and laundry baskets. And yes, one of these days I will get sucked up into the vacuum cleaner. Until then, I continue to run away and hide under the bed.

I really wonder what popped into my parents head the other night after they finished their laundry, that made them decide, "Hey, let's torture Oscar with the laundry basket."

Yes, they chased me with it. I ran and it was all fun and games until it ended up on top of me! Do I look like a vicious caged animal in the above picture? Now, I understand those poor caged creatures and why they turn evil.

I'll do anything for a treat.

Even if that means jumping into a laundry basket for a photo shoot. Look at my face! Don't I look thrilled? I promise you, revenge is on its way!

And, as if that wasn't enough fun enough for those people, they decided to put the treat inside the laundry basket and make me get it.

I am all for working for treats, but when I say working, I mean whining until they give me what I want or the occasional "sit-stay-lie down-sit-stay-wait 10 seconds-OK" routine.

Again, I'll do anything for a treat. Even if it means conquering my fear of laundry baskets. Unfortunately, every single time I touched the basket it would move!

I'm pretty sure it is alive and that it is working with the parents against me! I tried, and tried, and tried and tried to get the treat without going into the laundry basket. Finally, that man whom I used to call my Father, tipped the basket over so I could lean in and get the treat. But then the basket would roll!

In the end, I got my treat. My very very much deserved treat. Then I got another treat. And another. Then a fourth!

Somewhere along the way I lost track of how many treats I received. I was greatly rewarded for being subjected to my parents cruelty, for lowering myself to them, and for losing all honor to be humiliated for their entertainment.

I am a battered, broken soul.

And with whatever is left of me, I promise you-there will be revenge!


Frances Louise said...

Omigosh! That was SO funny reading your post. You poor poor pug. Your parents do need to be taught a severe lesson in the near future.

My parents also chase me around the house with the vacuum cleaner, but they haven't put me in the laundry basket yet . . . I hope Mommy is not reading your post right this miniute . . .

the Corgi Girls said...

Nice hat! BOL, our mum and pap always torture us with the vacuum and laundry baskets too! They say we look like little tanks running around with the laundry basket on our backs! When will parents learn... tee hee hee.

Goodboy Norman Featherstone said...

Poor Oscar! I don't think your People know who is in charge of your house. You better teach them a lesson they'll never forget!

Clover said...

Hi Oscar!
Thanks for visiting my blog and saying hello. I am going to add you to my links. :)
Sorry to hear about your recent escapades - hope your parents are done with their silliness!
Love Clover xo

Aniemother said...

Om my.. You poor baby! We cannot understand the need of torturing poor defenceless puggies with laundrybaskets that way! We're pretty sure the vacuum is safe, though.. Haven't attacked yet, so if it's going to it's being very, very sneaky! Then again they might just be...

Sniffs and snorts,
the WriggleButts

The Devil Dog said...

Dear Oscar. I am so sorry you do not like the grinder. Mom has been doing it to both of us since we were puppies, so it is no biggie. I will tell you that it doesn't stree her out like the nail clipper did and if she's not stressed, then we are not stessed.

Loved your blog. It is very funny. My cousin Millie calls the vacuum the rug sucking monster and she hates it. I run away too.


Seadra & Zoe said...

Oscar!! Our hearts were just breaking for you as we were reading that post. But towards the end we couldn't help but laugh. That is all just too cute!!

Love, Seadra and Zoe

Momo :) said...

Oh Noooo Oscar!! You don't deserve this being tortured with a laundry basket! But I must say you look very cute in that photo!

Momo xoxo

Baily said...

poor oscar,
i would have been scared too, DOG i am scared of my own foodbowl at times!!!

i think you were really brave

nose licks

Goodboy Norman Featherstone said...

Hi Oscar!

You mentioned on my blog that you want to play Secret Santa, but Woman has not received an email from you yet. Please email me at "puglove AT studpug DOT com" if you still want to play. I need your address too please.