OK OK, so the rule is: NO HUMAN FOOD! No ifs, ands, ors, or buts. When my parents brought me home they adhered to this rule as if it were in the Bible. No amount of begging, whining, or crying would ever get them to break their own self-made rule. Who can blame them? After all, they really don't want a whiny, crying fat pug on their hands all the time whenever they eat. Right?
I never really liked that rule. I'm not sure when that rule was broken. Was it a weekend when Daddy was away and Mommy felt like spoiling me? Or was it the day that I stole food off of Mommy's fork when she was eating on the couch? Or was it when Daddy was working from home and he thought I could have a piece of his food?
Over the past year, I've eaten a lot of human food, such that I much prefer it over my own dried-up meat cereal. In fact, I hate it when the humans don't share with me. They're supposed to share with me.
When Mommy eats pizza, she gives me the crust. But, the other night she didn't. She just sat it on the table. I don't understand why she wouldn't give it to me. Was she trying to torture me? If she's not going to eat it and not give it to me, she could at least have the decency to throw it away or take it out of my sight!
Usually, if they don't share, I will steal the food. If I am not in the position to steal food I will beg and whine until they give me what I want. Usually, this works. Which is why I always try this.
I start by spreading my arms on the table and then I lay my head down and whimper until I've got their attention. If that doesn't work, I walk around the table and try to pull the food towards me. When that doesn't work, I bark-loudly!
I don't know why they do this to me. Why must they withhold food from me? I'm just a hungry little pug...