Laundry From Vacation

Do I really have to help fold all this laundry? I'll only help if there are dryer sheets for me to eat.

Good to be Home

Well, I just got home from spending the week at my Grandpa and Grandma H's house while Daddy and Mommy spent the week camping in the Adirondack mountains in upstate NY. They didn't take me with them because they didn't think I'd enjoy camping. How would they know, I've never been camping before? I just might enjoy it. It doesn't matter because I had a lot of fun at my grandparents, even my Uncle B. came home from college for a few days to see me!

Mommy is a little slow updating my blog. It's probably a good thing because what I would have posted was outdated today. See the thing is, on Friday I had the best day of my life (well, not really but it came pretty close). I thought it was going to be a bad day because I was locked in my crate all day and then when Mommy came home she wouldn't let me go out and play with the neighborhood kids-I guess it has something to do with them invading our privacy and peeking through our mail slot and trying to come in our patio door-I don't know what her deal is, they just want to play with me. So, I thought Friday was going to be a lousy day, then my parents took me to the dog park. That's where the fun began! Rico was there, I mentioned him in another post. Apparently I taught him a few tricks! I'm proud of him! Anyway, there was this girl there...I didn't see at her at first, but I sure felt her kisses. She ran up to me immediately upon my arrival and showered me in kisses. I stood there all dazed and confused-I didn't know what to do. Plus, I think I was a little intimidated. She must have thought I was pretty studly in my star bandana. She is a really pretty pug. She's really light, thin and has a really dark face and she looked so cute in her pretty, pink collar. We ran around the park and I barked at at her, and she chased me. I tried to make a few moves on her but then she'd just whirl around and shower me in kisses. :)- I was dissapointed to leave her but I couldn't wait till today for the pug club get together to see her again! I saw her, she was there, but she didn't seem to care. I found out that my girlfriend, is not a one-pug girl. She kept hanging out with this older boy; I couldn't wait till he went home. So I tried to make her jealous, which worked sometimes. I ended up having to go home before the other boy. :( Oh-well. I'll just have to steal her heart another time, when there aren't other pugs to compete with.

Who Needs a vacuum Cleaner?

Ulggghh...I don't feel very good this afternoon. I tried helping Mommy with the laundry today. Well, actually, I pretended like I was helping but I was really after dryer sheets and underwear. When Mommy wasn't looking I swiped a dryer sheet. It smelled and tasted really good..for awhile.
I thought I was being sneaky but Mom turned around and saw me before I could finish it. So I ripped off a piece and chewed it as fast as I could. Actually, I swallowed it as fast as I could. I pretty much swallowed it whole, like a snake would swallow it's prey. Dryer sheets are hard to chew up, you know. I didn't want to lose my snack, what else was I supposed to do? If I dropped it, she'd take it away from me and what fun would that be? Now that I think about it, it's not really that fun after all. Not when you have 3/4 of a dryer sheet sitting in your stomach. Now when I burp or yawn my breath smells like Snuggle fabric softener. Hmmm...I wonder what it will smell like coming out.

What Rules?

What? I'm not doing anything...I promise.

Rules are made to be forgotten and not obeyed. At least that is my motto. If my parents tell me to sit or lie down, I give them a look that says "you want me to do what now?" or "I am so confused, I have no idea what you are talking about!" Unfortunately, I get so excited when they teach me new commands I'll obey them right away. That is because when I'm learning they give me treats. Then my parents will stop giving me treats and I'll still do the tricks, until I realize that they're not giving them to me anymore. At that point, I have no incentive to obey. My parents have lots of rules for me, and I don't like it. I have to sit before I can get on the couch, or I have to be invited; I have to sit before I eat, go outside, put the leash on, ect. ect. Now they're trying to make me lie down before I can do all of that stuff. Well, I'm getting tired of it, they know I know how to do all these things so I'm not getting treats. They think that getting to be on the couch, getting my food or going outside are all rewards enough. But, I don't think so. I want food! Lots of food! Well, I've come up with a list of rules for my Mom and Dad:

1. You must invite me onto the couch anytime you are sitting there and whatever food you are eating, I get a taste of.
2. When cooking, you must drop food on the floor for me to eat.
3. I decide when I go to bed at night and I will sleep on the couch or better yet: your bed.
4. I will under no condition perform tricks or obedience commands unless you show me the food!
5. When you leave the couch, you automatically give up your spot to me-in which you don't get it back.
6. Don't just give me water for dinner, I want food. I don't care if I get fat, forget what the vet says (I'm sure they eat more than a cup of food a day).
7. I must be played with all day long. You will know when I am tired of attention (haha-which is never).
8.You must take me to the dog park to play with my friends every evening.
9. Don't leave me in my bed when you leave the house: either let me roam around (I promise I'll behave) or take me with you. Otherwise, I will annoy the neighbors with all my barking and whining until they complain and you are forced to take me with you.